Overdosing on Self-Help

I've been on a self-help -- as in anything related to philosophy, psychology or personal development -- binge lately, and I think it's time to go on a self-help fast. The information overload I've been experiencing is making me mentally tired and confused. I need to focus on taking action instead of just thinking about what to do.

I've been addicted to self-help type books and websites for over tens years now, and I don't think it's really helped me all that much. I've come to realize that I've been co-dependent on external information to come up with coping skills; instead of finding ways to prosper from within, I've been constantly seeking solutions from outside myself without doing much serious self-reflection.

Self-help has become an addiction that has led me to voraciously seek eternal happiness. This addiction has a very poor success rate because I think I've been jamming my mind with too much self-help without proper reflection and action. Self-help isn't inherently bad and could probably help, but I need to slow down to allow myself to process things and be pro-active instead of passively ruminating and being so self-absorbed.

I'm going to refrain from reading, listening and watching about anything related to self-help for a while. I will also deflect self-help info that happens to comes my way. I will write about it from time to time, but in a more self-reflective manner by analyzing my experiences and observations with the intention to create solid theories on human behavior, especially my own behavior.

Theories

UCLA Professor of psychology Ben Karney likens theories to maps during a lecture on Theories and Intimate Relationships. Just like maps, theories are highly compressed explanations of phenomena of the world that help guide our behaviors. Theories are more than just a collection of facts, it's organized knowledge that helps reduce the complexities of phenomena into more manageable and simplified parts.

During the second part of the lecture, professor Thomas Bradbury likens theories to drawings of cartoon caricatures where certain features are exaggerated; they depict reality in a distorted and exaggerated manner by taking away certain details and exaggerating certain ones. Exaggerating certain features and doing away with other details allows one to clearly see certain regularities in nature.

I'm often dismissive of theories because they tend to be flawed and contradictory. But I need to realize just as there are no perfect maps or perfect drawings, there are almost no perfect theories especially when it comes to social, psychological and philosophical theories. If you were to create a massive 3d map of the world with a 1:1 scale with all the details of the actual landscape, you'd have have the world. But what good would such a massive and detailed map be with helping to navigate a city or Machu Pichu? Compressing and simplifying the world into a smaller map allows one to navigate the world more easily.

Human nature is extremely complex and can be interpreted in numerous ways. We can never fully understand every single little detail of human nature, but we seek out patterns, draw inferences from observing human behavior and create theories that help explain aspects of human behavior. This flies in the face of the adage to never generalize. But if we never generalize, the pictures on the screen are mere random pixels, climate doesn't exist because weather is completely random and text in a book are just random characters with no meaning.

With all the information that exists about human behavior, all I can do is, "Absorb what is useful. Discard what is not. Add what is uniquely your own." as Bruce Lee said. Our minds are finite in its capacity to understand the world and we are prone to errors, biases and all sorts of faulty reasoning. But we can have  general theories with elements of truths about the world that can help us navigate it. I'm going to be more observant of my and other people's behavior and create my own theories about humans keeping in mind to not take them overly seriously and allow the theories to be subject to change. I'll try to not fall for errors of reasoning but will refrain from trying to create perfect theories (or I'll end up creating no theories).

Mind Not Matter

Bart: Uh, Dad?
Homer: What.
Bart: What is the mind? Is it just a system of impulses? Or is it something tangible?
Homer: Relax. What is mind? No matter. What is matter? Never mind! Haha!

The Arizona desert is a hell hole inferno with a Martian landscape, or is the Arizona desert a majestically beautiful work of natural art? Both interpretations are correct and wrong depending on one's perspective. The Arizona landscape exists as something independent of the mind, but humans attach meaning to it with the filters of their minds. We experience natural automatic reactions to certain landscapes, and we use subjective words to describe how we feel about our reactions. The problem with language is it's often a highly imprecise mechanism for describing our thoughts and feelings. When I think about the Arizona desert, I alternate between feelings of hell hole inferno and beautiful art. I also think many other things. But I think I think too much about trivial stuff.

I often think about seeking near absolute truth about certain things such as the extremes of perception change. One part of my mind tries to prove or discount the idea that we can be in 100% control of our perceptions. If we are able to overcome most phobias by altering our perceptions, can't we alter our perceptions for nearly everything? Can't we just think of everything as wonderful? If happiness comes from within and is independent of external factors, why do anything at all? Why strive? Zen Buddhists strive for stuff those hypocrites! Why not just lie in bed all day if striving is so bad? But I think I am just thinking and analyzing way too much and getting bogged down in unnecessary details and repeating them over and over. Instead of taking certain philosophical theories to their extreme logical conclusions and pointing out inconsistencies of theories, I just need to listen to myself, experiment, and see what and doesn't work for me, then move on from there. Enough with this overthinking the same things over and over again. The absurdity of my over thinking led me to do a extensive Google search about overthinking, which made me overthink about overthinking to the tenth power! Agh!

From now on, I will just try to go with the flow and seek the middle way. If I think want something, I'll think about it for no more than a few minutes instead of hours, days or longer. I often ponder if I truly absolutely down to my bare bone marrow want something. I create long pros and cons list, think about the moral merits of buying it, ask myself if it's a want or need, coax myself into believing I'm being materialistic and can do without it, etc. My mind just spirals into a vortex that considers numerous factors over and over again. I just need to pause, stop overthinking and be more action-oriented and not live in my mind so much.

I also need to stop trying to find near-absolute truth and near-absolute consistency. Life is messy and unpredictable with lots of gray area. I can't absolutely know with the precision of the atomic clock what my true feelings and perceptions are. Humans are complex creatures who do a lot things and say a lot of things, but oftentimes what we say and do not mesh. That's okay. Humans can't be absolutely perfect and know precisely what we want and obtain all they want with ease. I just have to accept that fact and stop trying to understand myself as some predictable and easily understandable robot. 

Urge to Purge

I am not referring to bulimia but referring to my constant urges to purge the various the contents I have produced on the internet. I've deleted all my Xanga blogs, which had material spanning from 2001 to 2007. I've deleted one Facebook account only to restart another one. I've deleted hundreds of reviews on Yelp and gone incognito.  I just have a constant desire to purge whatever I put out on the internet. Oftentimes when I re-read what I have written, I think about how stupid the stuff I've written and just feel the need to delete it; I'm constantly washing myself of my dirt (or stupid writings) and attempting to start afresh, only to repeat myself over and over again. I do regret deleting a lot of the stuff I've deleted, which is why I've started blogging again. So much of my history has been erased. I would love to re-read my old Xanga entries to see how much I've changed over the years. From now on, I will resist the urge to purse and keep whatever bits of text I throw out into the cyber world. I will try to choose my words as wisely as possible but at the same time, I will not take myself too seriously. I just need to find a good balance between just throwing nonsensical noise out there and spending hours trying to compile ingenious works of art. I think part of me constantly becomes ashamed of the persona I've created online causing me to constantly attempt to recreate a better version of myself, but I need to just accept who I am with all my flaws.

Dichotomizing Common Sense

The US is the land of dichotomizing common sense. Issues such as circumcision, universal health care and water fluoridation are 'hotly debated' here while such issues are non-issues in most other countries. It just seems we waste a lot of precious finite time and energy on distractions. This has led to a great stagnation culminating to the current horrible state we are in. I suppose this is a result of a corporatacracy that has greatly influenced the public's perception of the world to favor the few wealthy corporations. Perhaps our bickering about distractions isn't so much the cause of our stagnation, but is a result of having been ruled by corporations whose quest for money leaves many of us in horrible situations.

For-profit medical care has made circumcision a lucrative business for doctors, hospitals, pharmaceutical companies, cosmetic companies, etc. The amount of money to be made from foreskins is too much to pass up, and those in a position to profit from foreskins are either blinded from the realities of circumcision or are aware of them but just don't care. The same can be said about companies who make lots of money selling toxic waste aka fluoride to municipalities, health insurance companies who act as middle men and siphon money away from people and numerous other entities who are in the position to make lots of money in unscrupulous ways.

The pursuit of money makes us all more sociopathic. We are often more willing to look the other way or willing to suspend our belief of reality to make more money. If one is making millions from installing asbestos prior to it being banned by the gov't, of course the asbestos companies will do all they can to justify continuing profiting from selling asbestos. It took a law banning the sales of asbestos after many years of the known links between asbestos exposure and cancers to stop companies from selling it. I'm sure many things that are currently known to be hazardous to one's health such as BPA, teflon coated cookware, etc will eventually be banned, but only after many people have suffered all sorts of health issues for many years. It is unfortunate that banning toxic substances takes many decades while numerous untested potentially toxic substances are constantly introduced to the market. Trying to ban toxic substances is like trying to damn Niagara Falls with pebbles, but I suppose it's better to throw pebbles than do nothing.

So here we are in America where circumcisions, fluoridated water and privatized healthcare are the norm in spite of their known drawbacks which have prompted many countries to ban such things. Since these things are so normal for us, many of us have just accept them as good. It's amazing how corporations in America have convinced many people that the things that are harmful are actually good for them. It's hard to not be cynical of Americans as many have been socialized to believe in certain things that are go against their best interest. All I can do is act in my best interest realizing the world has set parameters where people will act a certain way and events will pan out as they will.

Bad Habits

Just saw an episode of 'My Strange Addiction' featuring a lady who's really into bodybuilding and a lady who constantly sucks her thumb. I'm not sure I'd consider their habits addictions, but it makes me think about the human drive, and our rationalizations for and against the habits we form. We're good at lying to ourselves about our habits we don't like because they are just so comforting and hard to undo. When we do come to terms with our bad habits, the unconscious mind clings to the habits while the conscious mind tries in vain to overcome them. I'm going to compile a list of habits I'd like to overcome ranked according to level of detriment to my life then do all I can to overcome the ones most detrimental to my life first and work my way down. I do suppose that being overly obsessed about breaking bad habits can be a bad habit in itself if the obsession becomes a compulsion to be nearly perfect and free of bad habits. Moderation!

Shortcuts to Happiness?

According to various studies performed by psychologists, human brains produce happy brain chemicals while experiencing 'flow' or while being 'in the zone' while and after achieving goals of moderate and above difficulty. Humans seem to thrive on overcoming obstacles, but I wonder if there are shortcuts to happiness that don't require having to continuous overcome obstacles? Is it absolutely necessary to continually overcome obstacles to be happy? It just seems so convoluted and bizarre that humans have to engage in certain pointless activities such as climbing Mt Everest or running marathons to experience happiness. I suppose there's no way around the fact that I have to continually overcome obstacles just to remain happy. Being naturally lazy myself conflicts with having to do stuff in order to be happy. Also, my brain often rationalizes certain pointless goals all for the sake of achieving certain pointless goals as being absurd (see my post about the Effi0-Absurdity Paradox). I suppose I must tell my brain that for the sake of my well-being, I have to yield to my human need to achieve in order to be happy. I suppose one shortcut is to pursue things that pique my interest without over-analyzing the meaning behind it and without thinking if it's absurd. I already know eating well and exercising promotes happiness, so I should continue my pursuit of obtaining optimal health through eating well and exercising. Perhaps taking legal happy pills is another viable shortcut to happiness that I should investigate? Transcendental meditation and eastern philosophy may provide some answers?

Why is overcoming certain obstacles more noble than others? Why is the brain buzz a gamer experiences considered lesser than the buzz an avid reader of literature experiences? I don't know, and I shouldn't care. We all draw happiness from doing different things for different reasons; from one person's perspective, the things we derive happiness from may seem totally absurd while from another person's perspective it may seem like a no-brainer. However, we shouldn't have to justify the 'lesser' activities that provide us with happiness. Society attaches all sorts of stigmas and ennoblements to everything, but we should ultimately ask ourselves if deep down we truly enjoy the things we engage in.

Luck

According to studies performed by Richard Wiseman, lucky people tend to be open to new experiences, which leads to a wider range of opportunities. Unlucky people tend to be rigid in their thoughts and habits and often have very specific ideas when searching for what they want, which leads to a reduction of opportunities. Essentially, lucky people see the world with few preconceived notions and assumptions while unlucky people see what they want to see in the world that confirms their notions of the world.  Wiseman also mentions that lucky people tend to listen to their intuition and consider how they will feel if they pursued a certain option while unlucky people tend to dismiss their intuition and just look at the rational side of options.

Keeping an open mind allows one to become more adaptable by providing one with more opportunities, which leads to more good luck. Being rigid-minded makes one less adaptable by causing them to overlook other opportunities, which leads to more  bad luck. If I am intent on buying a pre-WWII 3 bedroom 2 bath single family house for under $300,000, yet most 3/2 houses sell at $500,000 and very few pre-WWII houses even exists in the area I am looking, I am setting myself up for disappointment or bad luck, as my chances of finding that one house that fits my criteria is low. However, if I am willing to buy  a place with fewer rooms  and/or something built after 1950, I will be more likely to fulfill my criteria and thus be more lucky.

Effio-Absurdity Paradox

The effio-absurdity paradox (EAP) is a term I coined while thinking about how some people consider enjoying watching football games as being absurd because it’s just a bunch of guys running around tackling each other and blah blah blah. EAP refers to the reduction of enjoyment derived from certain things due to realizing their absurdity and/or due to being unable to explain why we enjoy them. For example, one may be enjoying a game of golf only to realize that swinging a tiny ball with a stick into holes is absurd, which leads to a reduction of enjoyment of playing golf. Cynical and analytical people seem to be prone to experience EAP.

Anything can be considered absurd. People often complain about how most TV shows are shallow and mindless. Do all shows have to be full of deep meaning and be highly intellectually stimulating? Actually, so called mindless shows can lead to great intellectual stimulation if one analyzes the show in a way that leads to great insights about human behavior. But that’s beside the point. The point is we all enjoy certain activities mostly because the chemicals in our brains compel us to do pursue certain activities and humans have a tendency to defend their absurd preferences while declaring others’ preferences as absurd. EAP constricts one’s world and can lead to depression because it’s a buzz kill mindset that seeks reasons for not liking things on the basis of it being absurd, but what in life isn’t absurd?

Emotions

Emotions are tricky rascals.  They sometimes seemingly appear from nowhere while other times they appear from seeming known reasons.  They sometimes can be controlled.  Sometimes they can't.  Sometimes I don't know what emotions I'm feeling.  Sometimes the emotions I think I am feeling aren't really what I am truly feeling.   Emotions are imprecise guides for life the help guide me towards acting in certain ways that are in my best interest.  But what about people with really screwy emotions?  Or people with schizophrenia, brain damage, or other weird brain?  I have to remember that emotions are imprecise guides for life.  Knowing how faulty the brain can get, it's important for me to preserve my brain to prevent myself from experiencing faulty ideas, thoughts, and emotions that steer me towards self-destruction.  I must learn to listen to my emotions and allow them to guide me toward a prosperous and joyous life.

The Blog Entry about Nothing

Yada yada yada.  Wah wah wah.  I'm feeling uninspired with nothing to write about.  I've been in a mental smoggy haze these past few years.  Freud would be speechless about my mind, he'd be without speech about my mind.  The chapter of this mental smoggy haze phase of my life has been dull.  I've been all over the place from San Francisco to Amsterdam, but I carried my empty dull mind with me during my expeditions.  Carrying this mind dulled what could have been a vibrant technicolor experience into a limited 4 color CGA blandness. Now here I am, in the place I was born and raise with my empty mind without much about to write about.  Perhaps technology is partly to blame.  Google does nearly all the thinking for me and is like an external brain substituting for my actual brain.  I don't have to memorize much, as I can always use Google to help me to remember who the prime minister of Australia is, or what the US constitution amendments are.  I don't have to think much about politics, philosophy, religion, ethics, or whatever, I can just passively and mindlessly read people's responses in forums or some other person's blog while I shut out any critical thought of my own.  And if I try to look for a refutation against what feels wrong, I can use Google to find articles to refute it.  Or if I am looking for info to support a position, I can find confirmation on Google. Whenever I have a question or curiosity about anything, I  have an overwhelming number of information at my disposal on the internet.  Perhaps I'm experiencing technological information overload?  Perhaps the DSM-V should add this as a psychological disorder.  Perhaps I should take a permanent break from the computer, start reading books ,and start writing my own ideas instead of this skimming high amounts of information.  My level of thinking is becoming progressively shallow and dull  causing me to become a useless brain-dead piece of jellyfish.  I wish myself luck on my journey to becoming mentally inspired.  Is this blog entry even a portrayal of reality?  I'll find the answer on Google.